Jumper Movie Reviews

Jumper Review

2008-02-19T12:25:00.000-08:00

I was really looking forward to Jumper, the initial idea very much intrigued me, the trailer looked brilliant in my opinion, the fact Doug Liman was directing it excited me, then of course there was the small matter of Samuel L Jackson being in the movie! The fact Hayden Christenson, the man who ruined Star Wars Episode II because of his cheesy acting, was the lead actor did not initially scare me. In fact as I sat down in the cinema today I expect Jumper to be a brilliant, enjoyable, sci-fi romp that would leave me feeling fulfilled and happy. I suppose my expectations were far to high, as when I left Jumper I felt nothing but emptiness. Sure it was moderately entertaining, and Jamie Bell was absolutely brilliant, but for a movie that last 90 minutes so little seemed to happen. I knew as much about the characters at the end as I did at the beginning. Its essentially an extremely dumb movie designed to lure in crowds, this would be fine if the action came thick and fast, unfortunately it doesn't. In fact there are extremely long stretches where the action completely dries up. The movie is also way too short, everything feels just so rushed that you forget what is going on. Thankfully the movie does entertain, it is quite fun to watch and you won't be bored in the film.

So let me start on the performances. Hayden Christenson, OK I expected him to suck if I'm honest. He wasn't that great in the trailer and memories of Episode II lingered in my mind. I suppose I am too harsh on him as he did do a decent job in Revenge of the Sith, not brilliant but he was tolerable. Here however he surprised me, I actually saw potential in the actor for the first time. He isn't going to go and win an Oscar, but he does put on a good performance, his character is generally likable, and at the end of it all you feel like you could spend a bit longer watching Christenson. Nevertheless, Christenson is completely overshadowed by the brilliant Jamie Bell. Bell was brilliant in Billy Elliot, and thanks to his performance here I think we might be seeing a future A-lister on our hands. Bell is brilliant, he's funny, charismatic, dark yet brilliant. He steals absolutely every scene he is in and has all the dialogue. When he walks into the movie the entire thing lights up and you start to enjoy yourself a little bit more. And then I come to Samuel L Jackson as the villain. Jackson is an amazing actor and the coolest person on earth. So what a shame to say that he has so little to do, he does well in his scenes and has some good lines, but generally he has little to do but look evil, and slightly ridiculous with that white wig. Rachel Bilson is a revelation as the love interest Millie, her character is particularly well rounded and you do find yourself caring for her. Its a shame then that she gets bogged down occasionally with some pointless scenes.

Jumper works best when the action sequences kick in, a shame then that the first one doesn't occur until roughly the half way mark, and then there is a long absence of them until the ending. A scene in Rome is possibly the most memorable, although one involving Bell and a flame thrower (don't ask) is close behind. The jump effects themselves look magnificent and are a nice touch. The beginning as well is extremely well done. Sure its a bit of obligatory back story, but it work very well and is directed to perfection. The film only first gets a bit muddled when it hits the middle section, the focus is slightly blurred and the movie seems to be going nowhere at a very fast pace. Once an ending is in site the film picks up, but once again at the end it feels a bit rushed. The ending is my biggest criticism and something I have saved to last, it is to be quite honest terrible. A plot twist, that I didn't even think was a twist, occurs, and then we are left on a semi-cliffhanger with many characters fates left in the dark. Sure there is obviously going to be a sequel, I wouldn't mine one to be honest, but the ending of this movie just feels stupid and is something that I am really angry about.

Jumper overall is an entertaining if unfortunately forgettable movie. Doug Liman has kicked off another franchise but by the looks of it it has a long way to go to beat the Bourne movies. Wasted characters and a muddle focus make this a disappointing movie. But if you want a moderate entertaining then this might do the trick.

Jumper Movie Review

2008-02-18T06:32:00.001-08:00

Finally a superpower human without the need to do good for humanity. No ending since it's a 90 minute trailer for Christensen's starring franchise.

My weekly column, "The Devil's Hammer," is posted every Monday. The Devil's Hammer on FTB. If you would like to be included on my distribution list for a weekly preview, just email me at masauu@aol.com.

Remember the old days when knowledge was jealously guarded by, first the pharaohs and kings, and then the Catholic Church? With the internet, there is no more secret knowledge. It's all out there. And now it's more important to be beautiful than smart. You can get bank loans for cosmetic surgery, so what's next to set people apart?

Well, in the near future (after we have sex with robots - David Levy, author of "Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relations", says in 400 years humans will be able to buy an electronic femme-fatale or a superstud sexbot as easily as a flat-screen TV), after we have been genetically engineered to be beautiful, we'll want super powers.

But right now it's just a squirmy quirk of mutant DNA. All superheroes and anti-superheroes have terrible childhoods. Its something everyone can relate to.

When David Rice was five years old his mother vanished and he was raised by a brutal, neglectful father who never brought him a birthday gift or noticed his son had an unusual gift. This gift, by the way, only serves David.

When a teenager, an accident causes David to consciously recognize his power to teleport anywhere. It took him 12 years to dope things out.

After learning about David's teen years, we "jump" forward to present time, where David (Hayden Christensen) is living The Life in a luxury duplex in New York City! He goes into bank vaults and takes as much cash as he wants. (I would go to Hermes, thereby "jumping" the two year wait list for "the Birkin".) But David is a really good guy. He leaves I.O.U.s. He can take stuff with him (unlike Invisible People who have to go around naked).

Apparently, for some reason, David needs "jump sites." I've been to the Sphinx. David goes there in 1900, before the onslaught of the tourists, The Mall, and Pizza Hut. (Did you know the Sphinx, whose legacy was to look out into Infinity, now has a Pizza Hut directly in front of it blocking Time and Space? You can buy a high-rise apartment looking out at the Sphinx's broken nose.)

The Sphinx is one of David's jump sites. No one sees him sitting on top of the Sphinx's head. Zahi Hawass, High Priest of The Sphinx and Great Pyramids complex, is off-site digging in sand for a bigger find than Howard Carter.

With the world literally his, David decides to go back to his hometown and romance his high school first crush, Millie (Rachel Bilson).

Hey, David's life is shattered when he finds out he's not the only one with this talent. And, he's targeted for death. He's being tracked by Griffin (Jamie Bell) for 10 years. Griffin must be obsessed with David since he has a police wall charting his every more. Griffin is also a Jumper.

Griffin doesn't bother to explain a thing, especially about the nefarious Paladins, a centuries-old secret society that has been hunting Jumpers. They are all- powerful and vanquish Jumpers with high doses of electricity (tethers). David's nemesis is fanatic Roland (Samuel L. Jackson) who believes that the Jumpers are snubbing their nose at God.

Maybe Jumpers are really genetically engineered by an even more powerful secret society. Wait, that's Jumper 3.

David runs into Griffin at the Coliseum and, followed by Roland's men %u2013 who can "jump" also %u2013 the fight destroys the place. David has taken Rachel there to impress her by getting into a big fight and destroying the place.

I liked the special effects and the storyline %u2013 thin though it was. The full story must have been tethered into the netherworld.

While Christensen may be following in Ryan Phillippe's career path (Robert Rodriguez, please give Ryan a terrific starring role), he's perfect here as a confused slacker with no direction except to tramp around the world.

However, now that he's met Griffin and Roland, he has a mission in life.

I will not ruin the silliness of David's parentage "reveal" that desperately needs a script doctor asap, or bland Bilson. Only Bell, with a bemused hobo look (and a unrealized homoerotic fixation on David that will be dealt with in his Berber lair dwelling).

This franchise has a lot of potential but what happened to director Doug Liman? He seems to have directed "Jumper" from the sofa of his "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" mansion. There is absolutely no heat between Christensen and Bilson or Christensen and Jackson. I had originally thought that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were just cleverly directed by Liman to behave as sexy beasts.

JUMPER
Fox
New Regency Pictures

Credits:
Director: Doug Liman
Writers: David S. Goyer, Jim Uhls, Simon Kinberg
Based on the novel by Steven Gould
Producers: Arnon Milchan, Lucas Foster, Jay Sanders, Simon Kinberg
Executive producers: Stacy Maes, Kim Winther, Vince Gerardis, Ralph M. Vicinanza
Director of photography: Barry Peterson
Production designer: Oliver Scholl
Music: John Powell
Costume designer: Magali Guidasci
Editors: Don Zimmerman, Dean Zimmerman, Saar Klein
Visual effects supervisor: Joel Hynek

Cast:
David Rice: Hayden Christensen
Griffin: Jamie Bell
Millie Harris: Rachel Bilson
Roland: Samuel L. Jackson
Mary Rice: Diane Lane
William Rice: Michael Rooker
Young Millie: Annasophia Robb
Young David: Max Thieriot

Running time -- 93 minutes
MPAA rating: PG-13

Jumper Picture

2008-02-18T06:30:00.001-08:00

The following picture is from the movie Jumper:

Jumper Movie Review

2008-02-18T06:26:00.000-08:00

In a world gone horribly wrong, where actions have no consequences, where all of humanity has become unaccountably oblivious to blatant violations of the time-space continuum, where rules exist not to be broken but to be disregarded, where continuity is irrelevant... anything is possible!

There you have the premise for Doug Liman's "Jumper: The Prequel," a movie so silly you may find yourself giggling helplessly even as you wish you could magically transport yourself almost anywhere else in the world but where you are, in front of the screen showing it.

Let me jump back and correct that: The title proper is "Jumper," but the port for the sequel is installed into the Epilogue. And there is one inviolable rule: No Girls in the Lair!

Does this make any sense to you? No? Good, then it's not just me. Fortunately, I can't risk giving away too much of the story because there isn't one. There's just this guy named David (mostly played by 26-year-old Hayden Christenson, but sometimes by 19-year-old Max Thieriot, though the use of separate actors is superfluous since one doesn't look appreciably older than the other) who can jump from, say, New York to Tokyo instantaneously.

That's all.

In the Prologue, David has a crush on this girl named Millie (mostly "The OC"'s Rachel Bilson) but there's a bully named Biff -- er, Mark (entirely Jesse James?). Poor David lives with his mean alcoholic dad Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer (Michael Rooker, as William) in a room with posters of Einstein and Kurt Cobain. He's gotta get outta this place. Ann Arbor, that is. He's trapped. So, he "jumps."

It's every kid's fantasy: Find yourself in a bad situation and pop right out of it. It's every Don Juan's fantasy: You can pick up a hot blond babe in a bar, have sex with her, and disappear immediately afterwards. It's every travel agent's nightmare: You can go anywhere in a blink -- picnic on the head of the Sphinx, hang out with the minute hand on Big Ben as if you were Mary Poppins... and, here's the thing: Nobody notices.

Sometimes when David jumps he busts up the walls or floors and generates a lot of dust or water damage; sometimes he doesn't. But, either way, nobody pays any attention. It's scary. David can plop into a throng of extras anywhere in the world -- the streets of Tokyo or a London pub -- and except for this one kid at the Detroit airport, not one person bats an eyelash. And if it doesn't matter to them, why should it to us?

It's implied that the jumper may have to have visited a place before he can jump to it, but maybe not, so never mind. When such miracles can can occur anytime, without reason or explanation, then life and plots are meaningless. "Jumper" may as well be subtitled "The Trouble with CGI." Anything can happen, and usually does, but so what?

By the time Mace Windu shows up with white hair and a light-taser (Samuel L. Jackson, as Roland)... oh, forget it. Billy Elliot (Jamie Bell, as Griffin) explains that since Medieval Times (I believe there's one in Schaumburg) the Palladins have been hunting the Jumpers. It's been going on for centuries, and no one seems to know or care why the Paladins were apparently named after imperial guards of ancient Rome -- and, later, high officials in the Catholic Church -- and the Jumpers are just called Jumpers. Nor does the movie explain its own movie-references, like why a skyscraper plummet from the Coen brothers' "The Hudsucker Proxy" should suddenly collide with the public pool scene from "Little Children" (or is it the Baby Ruth scene from "Caddyshack"?). Because it's totally random, that's why.

In a movie review, it's usually incumbent upon the critic to make at least one mention of the movie as a movie. The cinematic touch that stuck with me is when David returns to Ann Arbor after an eight-year absence and has a Marty McFly moment when he discovers that Millie has become (wait for it) a barmaid! (At least she's not his mom, but what's happened to his mom is even more awful and inexplicable.) There's an oddly framed shot where David and Millie are talking across the bar and in between them are at least three extras watching an off-screen football game.

You will find yourself watching the extras.